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What is a Four-Way Conference During Divorce?

Posted by Vincent DeLuca | Sep 15, 2016 | 0 Comments

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A four-way conference is a meeting between the parties and their attorneys, which typically take place in one of the attorneys offices, in an effort to limit the issues of the divorce.  Divorce can be an emotionally charged process, and parties may perceive that there is more disagreement than actually exists.  The four-way meeting enables parties to air their concerns and in doing so, attempt to identify areas or issues in which they can find common ground. 

Monmouth County Divorce Four-Way Meeting

The four-way meeting has a number of advantages.  The attorneys are able to get a sense of how the other side is approaching the case.  Perhaps one or both parties are amenable to mediation, or at the very least, will consider negotiating some of the issues out of court.   If the parties are unable to come to an agreement, or things begin to get heated, the meeting can be rescheduled for another time, allowing everyone an opportunity to examine the issues and reconsider their approach.  In contrast to an appearance in court, the four-way meeting is informal.  It can be held at one of the attorney's offices or a neutral location and can last for either a brief or more extended period of time.

How Can You Make The Most Of The Four-Way Conference?

1. Identify the issues that are important to you. By walking in with a list of what truly matters, you are less likely to find yourself arguing for the sake of arguing.  Stick to the script.  Don't get sidetracked, and you are more likely to meet with success.
2. Once you have identified the issues that matter, consider what you are willing to compromise. For example, you may want to stay in the marital home, but doing may not be possible for financial reasons.  Come up with alternatives and realize that it is not about getting your way, but coming to a resolution that you can live with.
3. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. It may be difficult to put aside anger and resentment, but rehashing the past will not help you in planning for your future.  Try to keep your temper in check.  Listen to the advice of your attorney, as well as any suggestions offered by the other side.
4. When all else fails, get some fresh air. You may find that there are some issues too heated to even discuss.  Take a break.  Excuse yourself and get a drink of water.  If you still feel you are not ready to confront a particular issue, ask the attorneys if you can meet at a later time.

Most divorces in Monmouth County end in settlement agreements, not in the kind of court battles you see on television.  While it may be difficult to imagine coming to an agreement with your spouse, a positive outlook and the willingness to cooperate may make this a reality.

Speak With Monmouth County Divorce Attorney

For more information on four-way conferences and the mediation option, contact the offices of Villani & Deluca today at (732) 965-3404.

About the Author

Vincent DeLuca

A founding member of Villani & DeLuca and has devotes the entirety of his practice to family law. Mr. DeLuca Esq. is a trained divorce mediator and collaborative divorce attorney

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Vincent DeLuca, Esq.

As a founding partner at Villani & DeLuca, Vincent DeLuca is one of only a few Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney in Ocean County, New Jersey. Mr. DeLuca has helped many clients navigate the delicate details of their own divorce. Mr. DeLuca is also a trained divorce mediator and collaborative divorce attorney. Call today at (732) 965-3404 to speak to Mr. DeLuca or one of our experienced NJ Divorce Lawyers.

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