There are a number of things you should not do during a divorce. One of the most important things you should not do is attempt to alienate the children from your spouse because you are mad at them. Your children have done nothing wrong and have not caused the divorce to happen. By making them not love your spouse you are doing them a tremendous disservice. Children deserve to be loved and to love both of their parents. Far too often a divorce causes a breakdown between the children and one or both of the parents. This can be avoided if both parties act like adults and put the children and what is best for them as a priority at all times.
The way in which you decide to divorce can also impact the children, and litigated divorces are much more likely to adversely affect the children. If custody is in dispute the children may be subject to being interviewed by a forensic psychologist and may in fact even have to talk to the judge. The divorce mediation process is much gentler and easier on the children. In divorce mediation the best interest of the children is emphasized from the beginning of the process and the children are protected from being brought into the process.
Another important thing that you should not do when going through the divorce process is talk to the children about any of the specifics involved in the divorce proceeding. Divorce involves adult topics and the children should not be burdened by hearing about how bad the other parent is or what the other parent consistently does wrong, etc.
Also, when going through the divorce process do not rule out talking to a qualified divorce therapist, marriage counselor, or divorce coach. These professionals can provide you with valuable tools to handle all the emotional aspects of going through the divorce process. One or two sessions are all you may need to get your head on straight and to prepare you for the process.
Should you have questions about how you should behave when either contemplating a divorce or during the divorce make sure that you ask those questions. You don't get a do over with the divorce process. It is important that you understand all aspects and the best way to handle the divorce before it's too late.
Partner Vincent De Luca has been handling divorces for over 25 years and he would be happy to share his knowledge and experience with you during a free initial consultation. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to call.