It used to be that therapy was only for people suffering from mental illness or devastating trauma, but nowadays, psychologists specialize in treating a wide variety of stresses for people of all ages. While counseling is readily available, there is still a stigma associated with the idea of seeking professional help for personal problems. This if often the case with divorce, which is often traumatic even if both spouses agree that divorce is the best option. Many divorcing couples also remain friends, giving off the impression that there is no hurt or awkwardness that needs to be worked through, but this is rarely the case.
First of all, any divorce results in a series of losses, which may include friends and family members, not to mention a way of life that you may have loved for a very long time. It's also quite likely that your roles within the marriage (wife, husband, parent, etc.) have given you a sense of purpose and self-worth. Being stripped of these roles can be extremely traumatizing, to the point where you may find yourself sinking further and further into depression. Dealing with your feelings sooner than later is essential to surviving the divorce process, and there's no shame in admitting you need professional help. If anything, you are doing everything you can in order to remain strong and steady during one of the most trying times in your life. This is a sense of responsibility you have not only to yourself, but to your children, who are just as, if not more hurt and confused as you are.
On the other hand, your issues with counseling may have nothing to do with social stigma. If you are in the midst of a costly divorce, there may not be any money to spare for things like personal therapy. There are, however, many free support groups throughout New Jersey, which can be found on sites such as Psychology Today at https://groups.psychologytoday.com. There are groups that address specific populations, like women who are newly divorced, spouses who are legally separated, and children who are struggling with divorce-related issues. In addition to being free, there's no obligation to attend a certain set of meetings, so there's no harm in at least giving it a try.
Along with emotional support, you should also be seeking legal advice from a qualified family law attorney. While a therapist or support group can be immensely helpful, they cannot assist you with the finer points of divorce, such as custody arrangements, how much support you should ask for, and how to deal with your martial debts during and after your divorce. In addition, experienced family law attorneys have professional connections with therapists and support groups in your local area, including mediation programs to help you and your spouse work through disagreements. For more information on all the available services to help you through your divorce, please schedule a free consultation with the attorneys of Villani & DeLuca, P.C.